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barricadefairytales:

fidefortitude:

isenseanunquenchablethirst:

is this what responsibilities look like

can i just

so bill nighy was wearing a motion capture suit and screaming at johnny depp

and johnny depp had to scream back

without either of them laughing

just imagine that. two grown men, one in pyjamas with balls on his face, and the other in a pirate costume, screaming at the top of their lungs at each other

acting

(Source: sothoros)

sharkchunks:

fennecwolfox:

oeste:

misterhippity:

I tried a 2-D printer once, and the paper jammed.

So now I just painstakingly re-create my paper copies by hand, like a medieval monk.

i tried using paper, but the edges crumpled

so now i just chisel my commandments into stone, like old testament god

I tried using stone, but it cracked and broke.

Now I just scream everything at passersby, hoping they’ll remember what I said so I can ask them about it when I need it.

I tried shouting things at passersby but they ignored me.

Now I emit allohormones in a gypsobelum that bonds selectively with the recipient’s hemolymph to reconfigure their bursa copulax into a copulatory canal. I can only say one thing, “I want to mate with you,” but really, what else ever needs to be said?

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